Life on Duotrope

 

duotrope-stats
I make submissions, but I do not submit

I remain optimistic about my Submissions. I am earnestly hopeful. My forehead wrinkles are extra bumpy as I think, “They have got to like this one!

I detest form letter Rejections, but they are feedback and register an unmistakeable opinion. I’m always saying smarmy shit like, “I value your honest opinion,” so I guess I better shut my rollkuchen input port and take it.

I inject Acceptances like heroin; mainline into my ego stream. Ohhhh, what a feeling…what a rushhhhhhh!*

When a story HITS I announce it. And by “announce”, I mean strafing social media like a half-drunk, live-in-the-basement male adult at the paintball range. I tweet and blog and Facebook and update my Gravatar, boring readers to a point where I fear their minds involuntarily leave their bodies, à la Homer J. when he wanted to stop listening and Flanders kept on talking.

homer

Today there are 5925 markets available via Duotrope. Hmmm, five is my lucky number…I should submit!

allfornow – Mitch

(*1971, Crowbar, CKRC radio, Winnipeg – these Canadian lyrics undoubtedly blared from the AM radio in my Dad’s Dodge station wagon, on those special days I was allowed to drive it.)